[ PUBLISHED ALSO IN GERMAN … ] When I say: “I’m a hairdresser,” I usually get to hear: “Who calls themselves that anymore? And after a pause: “Who goes to a barbershop anymore?” Well, I am one of them. I take a pair of scissors and finish the hair. Hair must be cut. Well, that doesn’t apply anymore. Once a prim, which is what a single hair is called in the technical terminology, has been set to length, width and height, all you need to do is turn and position it to give the hair its place.

There is no hair loss. Once set, it will remain in place as soon as the glue is applied. This is called linking, not gluing. Well, the shape still has to come, otherwise the whole thing remains a tousle-head. This is where the deform function comes in. That makes me a stylist. I am not the only one who sculpts hair. Sculpting is also a word from the stylist language, which stands for trimming and trimmed objects. Not everyone can afford sculpted prims, you have to fork out much money. Well, I can do more. There are different words for my profession. Hair Maestro, toupee builder, but also simple terms can be found. Haircutter, barber, tailor, shaper are just a few. I call myself a haircoder.

I have perfected the art of haircutting. I can put wind on any prim and create local wind. Each prim shaped as tube, cone, torus, twisted and pulled, and each sculpted prim, each hair, in haircutter language called primitive, gets its own push. And when it goes outside, where the wind is really blowing, I have the code swarm for alignment. Then the primitives form themselves into identities. Then the world looks at me, at what I have made out of the hair. Well, for some, it’s probably too late to put new ones in. The “Reaching Maximum-Link Limit” display is the ultimate MCA for every hair designer. Well, not for me. My mission is then to color, twist, fan, pull – just do whatever illusion you can get out of it.

Neo Scherengeber, Haircutter of the White House. That’s on my business card as of today, the trendy version in English for my international approach. From this you can see that I have to be really good at what I do. I have signed a non-disclosure agreement, a declaration of secrecy. This is against my code of honor, but wouldn’t you do everything for the White House? I insisted that it be limited in time until after the election, because I want to patent the haircut I developed. To be in the middle of the wind, to stand by your hair during the election campaign, but also to have everything in shape again with just one click, shows competence, is social-media of its finest, and is real unconventional thinking. To have everything in your hair can only be done by someone who has everything under control, me the scissor giver, the hair clipper. The modern form of hair art is political and queer. To prevent the hair code from becoming a hairstorm as a plagiarism and I have to hand in my scissors, I have declared it art and will submit it as a contribution to AMERIKA.ART. Let’s see if the calculation works out and everybody wants to have such a toupee?

Neo Scherengeber. Of course, that’s not my real name, I don’t care about that. I am a code crispr, I am an anagram. For me, cutting hair is just the beginning.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.